


Capes Are Cool

by slightlytookish



Category: Batman (1966), Doctor Who
Genre: Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-22
Updated: 2010-07-22
Packaged: 2017-10-10 17:57:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/102506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slightlytookish/pseuds/slightlytookish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Doctor," Batman said gravely. "I believe we have need of you in Gotham City."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Capes Are Cool

Gotham City was in an uproar. 

A large spacecraft had appeared in the night and was now hovering over the city. Aliens had been spotted marching through the streets, people were panicking, and there was only so much that two crimefighters could do against an army of thousands carrying laser guns.

"Gosh, Batman," Robin said as they worked in the Batcave, looking for something, anything, to defeat the aliens. "It all seems pretty hopeless."

"Now, Robin," he chided. "You're just being cynical. There may be forty thousand extremely violent and hostile aliens holding our city hostage but there's no need to panic. Remember, when there's a will there's a way."

"Gee, when you put it that way..." He watched as Batman solemnly approached a device they had never used before, a bright blue telephone labelled INTERGALACTIC BAT COMMUNICATOR. 

"Are we going to call the aliens?" he asked, rubbing his hands together eagerly.

"We're going to call for help." Batman picked up the phone and carefully dialled the number. Robin leaned close to listen and after a few rings, the person on the other end picked up.

"Doctor," Batman said gravely. "I believe we have need of you in Gotham City."

*

It didn't take long for the Doctor to arrive. Only a few moments passed before there was a strange whooshing sound and a blue box appeared in the middle of the Batcave. A moment after that a man leapt out wearing an enormous sombrero, followed by a very tall girl in a very short skirt.

"Batman!" he said, shaking his hand eagerly. "It's been too long. Or too short. Have we met before? I can't remember. All of time and space, you know how it is. But I know you haven't met Amy Pond. And this must be Robin. Hello, Robin. Robin?"

"Robin," Batman said quietly. "It isn't polite to stare."

"Golly, Batman," he said, abashed. "You're right." With an obvious effort he finally drew his eyes away from Amy Pond and her very long legs, and completely missed the flirtatious wink she gave him.

*

At first the Doctor didn't seem as interested in the aliens as Batman had hoped. 

"I've always wanted a cape," he said, inspecting first Batman's and then Robin's with a magnifying glass. 

"The bow tie's bad enough," Amy said, grabbing the magnifying glass and pocketing it. "So was the sombrero. You _cannot_ wear a cape."

"Why not? Capes are cool."

Amy rolled her eyes. "Don't we have aliens to catch?"

*

The Doctor managed to focus on the task at hand after that, and if he cast a few longing looks at their capes, the others pretended not to notice. He mentioned some sort of device in the TARDIS that would identify the aliens' place of origin and Batman sent Robin to assist him, thinking it prudent to separate the boy from Miss Pond given his obvious attraction to her. It was just part of growing up, Batman thought with a rueful sigh.

"So, Batman," Amy said, sidling up to him and smiling in an alarming way. "What's under the mask?"

"A crimefighter must never reveal his true identity," he said stoutly. "If such a secret were revealed it could put all of Gotham City, and perhaps even the world, at risk."

"Okay," she said with a shrug. "You can keep your secrets. Besides, I've always wanted to kiss a masked man." 

She inched closer, still grinning, as Batman gulped nervously and fumbled with his utility belt. Shark Repellent, Tiger Repellent, Wolf Repellent... where was the Kiss Repellent Bat Spray when he needed it?

*

"Holy interior decorating!" Robin gaped at the TARDIS. "It's bigger on the inside!"

The Doctor preened. "I get that a lot," he said, fiddling with something at the console. "Now come and look at this. I think I just discovered where those creatures came from..."

*

When they returned to the Batcave they discovered a terrified-looking Batman already halfway up the Batpole while Amy pouted below.

"Oh, Amy," the Doctor said. "I can't leave you alone for five minutes, can I?"

*

Now that the Doctor knew where the aliens were from and what their weapons were made of, he was able to disarm them with the help of his sonic screwdriver, leaving Batman and Robin to subdue them without worrying about their laser guns.

"Interesting," the Doctor mused. "You really do hear POW! and BAM! when they fight."

*

"Are there any planets you'd like to see?" the Doctor asked later, after the aliens had been returned to their spaceship and sent away and Gotham City was safe once more. "How about the moon? Has the moon landing happened yet? Doesn't matter. I never get tired of watching the moon landing! What do you say?"

Robin looked hopefully at Batman, who looked at Amy and suddenly turned pale.

"I'm afraid not, Doctor," he said. "Our duty is here in Gotham City."

Robin sighed. Batman was right. They were fully deputised agents of the law, after all.

"Well, if you ever change your mind," the Doctor said, glancing at the INTERGALACTIC BAT COMMUNICATOR with a smile. "Come along, Pond. By the way, have you seen my sombrero?"

"No," Amy said, discreetly kicking it under the Batmobile. "Goodbye, boys," she added, turning to blow them kiss before she followed the Doctor into the TARDIS. Batman trembled slightly.

"Did he really mean it?" Robin asked. "Can he really travel to all those places?"

"I believe he was telling the truth, Robin," Batman replied. "If there's one thing that crimefighting has taught me, it's that nothing is impossible."

"Gosh," Robin said, and together they watched the TARDIS disappear.


End file.
